“’Cause when you’re 15

And somebody tells you they love you

You’re gonna believe them.”

In her 2008 hit, “Fifteen,” singer Taylor Swift reflects on the innocence and vulnerability of young love.

But, how real is this concept of high school sweethearts?

Though every story may be unique, the facts remain unchanged: relationships made during this period are often short-lived.

In fact, according to May 2017 statistics published by Brandon Gaille Marketing, less than 2% of all marriages are actually to a high school sweetheart.

California State University, Fullerton, professor of human communication Tara Suwinyattichaiporn attributes these statistics to changes within high school students as they grow.

“People evolve differently sometimes,” Suwinyattichaiporn said. “Five years later, 10 years later, they realize like, ‘Oh, wow we’re completely different people and I’m no longer attracted to this person;’ so, I think that just a natural development of a person is a huge factor.”

As illustrated in another portion of Swift’s song:

“Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday

But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Suwinyattichaiporn also said students’ conflicting goals may be a primary reason for short-lasting love.

“In high school when you’re that young, your only goal is to be together, and when you’re older, maybe you have other goals,” she said. “And conflicting goals can be devastating for relationships because you realize you can’t be together; you don’t want the same things.”

NOT-SO-SWEET SWEETHEARTS

English teacher Jennifer Kim said she blamed students’ lack of development for such a phenomenon.

“I just don’t think that adolescents are mature enough to know what goes into a long, lasting relationship, like marriage, meaning compromise, sacrifice and standing up for what you believe as well,” Kim said. “But, as a high school teacher of many decades, typically, I found that high school romances don’t stand the test of time.”

In addition, the English teacher said many young relationships fail because of the partners’ lack of experience. 

“I feel that what I see in high school students a lot is possessiveness and jealousy and things that are a little more selfish in a relationship,” she said. “You learn how to compromise more, how to argue with people, how to take your stance; but, that takes years of dating and figuring out what you like and what you don’t like.”

According to 2003 research published by the University of Denver professors Wyndol Furman and Laura Shaffer in The Role of Romantic Relationships in Adolescent Development, romantic involvement and sexual behavior have been found to be negatively correlated with academic achievement throughout adolescence.

Similarly, Suwinyattichaiporn said high school relationships may distract students’ academics.

“For some people, it can consume them and become such a huge distraction and it negatively affects every other aspect of their lives,” the professor said.

Freshman Stephanie Park, who has been in a relationship with freshman Hunter Barnhardt since May 18, 2024, said she experienced struggles with balancing her relationship and studies.

“The most challenging thing is managing my time,” Park said. “I feel like because high school is a big transition from middle school, getting to kind of maintain that balance has been really hard for me.”

For others like sophomore Annalise Glynn, who’s been dating sophomore Daniel Diaz since May 25, 2024, being in a relationship as a high school student hasn’t posed a problem.

“Well, I’d say it’s not really that challenging,” Glynn said. “Of course, school and sports can be a lot, but I feel like Daniel is very supportive in making sure that everything is okay and we help kind of like de-stress each other when we’re getting stressed and anxiety from everything.”

IT’S ALL PART OF THE EXPERIENCE

Despite the potential cons, Suwinyattichaiporn said high school relationships can benefit students in their adolescence as it allows them to learn to create meaningful relationships.

“I think it’s a good relationship skill building time because you’re teenagers and you learn to be in a relationship in a healthy way,” she said. “You have to learn communication skills, negotiation skills and how to become more empathetic because now you have a romantic partner.”

Another benefit, the professor said, is social support, which may be helpful to students for managing stress and anxiety.

“In high school, you can definitely get support from your friends, but a romantic relationship is a little bit different: it’s like always having a friend with you,” Suwinyattichaiporn said.

Junior Christopher Serrano, who’s been dating junior Ashley Lato since Feb. 14, 2023, said this aspect is his favorite part about his high school relationship.

“I think my favorite part is having someone to rely on, like you can really trust, knowing they won’t stab you in your back,” Serrano said. “They’re really true to you.”

Similarly, Diaz said his relationship positively impacted his high school experience.

“It made me enjoy high school way better with someone that I know I have by my side no matter what, at all costs — so just experiencing it with someone that you love is nice,” the sophomore said.

For senior Hanna Park, her almost 3-year relationship with senior Kevin Chung, allowed her to grow her emotional intelligence faster than her peers.

“I feel like I matured emotionally really quickly compared to all my other friends because there’s a lot of issues, obviously, in relationships,” Park said. “When you bring it up, you have to be super understanding about it, even though you don’t want to.”

Both Kim and Suwinyattichaiporn also noted the subtle changes between high school relationships now and then and noted the presence of social media changing the concept of sweethearts today.

“I see the flutter of first ‘love’ when kids come in and say, ‘Oh my gosh, Mrs. Kim, this person is so cute,’” Kim said. “What I’ve noticed now, I think with technology, is that there’s a lot more possessiveness I’ve found in some of the students: meaning that they’re checking their locations, they’re asking to see each other’s texts, knowing their passwords for things.

Similarly, Suwinyattichaiporn said social media plays a role in short high school relationships.

“I think with social media and a lot of distractions online in today’s world, I feel like I would have to agree with those statistics,” she said. “I think it’s really hard to maintain a relationship from high school because people also change and grow a lot in their 20s.”

CHEERS TO FOREVER?

But I’ve found time can heal most anything

And you just might find who you’re supposed to be

Though many high school relationships may perish after high school, the few who make it to marriage, have divorce rates within the first ten years of marriage at 54% compared to the much lower average American couple at 32%, according to Brandon Gaille Marketing.

Suwinyattichaiporn also attributed this to the conflicting goals a couple may encounter after getting married at such an early age.

“Maybe you want to have two children before 30, and that’s really important to you and maybe that’s conflicting,” she said. “In high school, you don’t know what your life goals are and maybe some people think they do, but it changes a lot.

So I think with conflicting goals, that is going to be a huge contributor to divorce and breakups.”

However, a more early and urgent problem high school sweethearts experience may be the deciding factor in continuing their relationship to marriage — college and long distance.

“College is a great exploration time,” Suwinyattichaiporn said. “When you’re committed in a relationship, and the partner isn’t at the same college, it’s limiting your exploration; so, I would say college plays a big role in breaking up high school sweethearts because it’s an exploration time and people are curious.”

Kim said she advises her students to leave their sweethearts behind when going off to college.

“ I recommend, personally, that students not go into college with a significant other because when you get to college, you’re going to meet different people and you want to give yourself that opportunity, the chance to meet other people,” she said.

Faced with such a roadblock called college, Chung said communication would play an important role if he and his girlfriend decide to follow through with long distance.

“If we do have a long distance [relationship], I think communication would be a big part of that,” he said. “It’s definitely scary or intimidating, but I feel like if both people are willing to try, then it’ll eventually work.”

Lato said she sees her and her boyfriend remaining together after high school despite possible distance and separation.

“I feel like that just depends on you and your partner and how you guys think about your relationship and your commitment toward it,” she said. “Even though there are hardships, some couples decide that they’re gonna work together and be more harmonized and help each other to like make it last.”

Although they may be new to the feeling of love, Glynn said she’s attempting to navigate through her relationship with her “Lover,” learning crucial skills like compromise.

“I feel like we’re still kids, like we’re trying to figure out love and stuff out and how to make it work,” Glynn said.