“In the future, everybody will be famous for 15 minutes,” Andy Warhol wrote in his exhibition catalog at the Moderna Museet gallery in 1968.

My moment started in early January this year when I was offered the opportunity to perform a violin solo at Carnegie Hall, a venue internationally recognized as one of the finest settings for artists and audiences.

Before I dive into that origin story, let me share my musical journey.

With a mother who has a classical composition background and received college education from South Korea, she initially introduced me to the violin when I was 6 years old.

A couple of months later, she took me, my older sister and my father to watch an orchestra performance.

By then, I had become fully convinced by my mother to learn to play the violin. 

Unfortunately, the last 10 years did not always consist of rainbows and sunshine. 

In fact, it was rarely ever like that. For the first six-seven years of playing this instrument, I absolutely dreaded practicing and grew to hate it. 

“Why can’t you just let me quit? I clearly hate the violin,” I would say to my mom every day while crying. 

In response, my mom would say that I’m going to regret it in the future if I quit now, after everything I’ve already given up to play the instrument. 

It got to the point where I refused to watch or listen to anything related to the violin. When the movie Annie first came out in 2014, my family and I had gone to the movie theater to watch it, and I immediately turned around in my chair and blocked my ears as soon as I noticed an orchestra playing in the background.

I especially hated how much of my free time I had to sacrifice to practice everyday. What started as around three hours a day increased to at least five hours a day as I grew up. These long and hard hours of practice took a toll on my growing body and inflicted pain upon mainly my neck and shoulder area, as I had to stand in an awkward position for hours on end every single day (I still have consistent aches in that area to this day). 

Every day, I thought to myself: I wish I could go out and play with my friends like everybody else is doing. I’m only in elementary school; why do I need to suffer so much?

COVID-19 PANDEMIC DIDN’T MAKE THINGS BETTER 

At 10 years old, I started studying music at the Colburn School of Performing Arts in Los Angeles. 

Of course, my mom had a hand in this.

“Studying music at this school is going to give you so many new opportunities,” my mom told me. It might help you like the violin at least a little more if we change up the environment.” 

It did not help. 

I still struggled to enjoy playing, and it got even worse when the COVID-19 pandemic broke. Of course, I got stuck at home practicing violin all day – cooped up in my house.

Eventually in eighth grade, once the fear of this outbreak settled down and things slowly began to get back to normal, I signed up for orchestra and chamber music at Colburn. 

Chamber music is when musicians are grouped together based on instruments. I was put into a trio consisting of me – the violinist – a cellist and a pianist. 

This actually saved me. I rediscovered my love for classical music and started to enjoy playing the violin. Similarly, I really appreciated playing in the orchestra. Of course, the many new friendships I made from this experience added to my newfound attitude. 

Joining these programs also helped me realize the wide spectrum of music and how many opportunities kids with classical training have. 

I loved playing with other people and began to become more passionate about my instrument. This allowed me to improve when playing alone and helped me win major awards in many different competitions.

BACK TO HOW I ENDED UP AT CARNEGIE

My mom entered me in as many competitions as possible since second grade and I always placed in the top 3. However, I didn’t feel that accomplished or proud of myself because placing high was an expectation that I held for myself from the beginning. 

Then last November, one of my music teachers from Colburn said, “Yena! I found an amazing competition opportunity for you! It’s called the International Association of Professional Music Teachers. And if you win, you might be able to perform at Carnegie Hall this winter!

“You need to at least try. It’s going to be a great opportunity for your musical journey!” 

 I found myself surprisingly responding with enthusiasm.

“That’s so cool! I’ve always wanted to go to New York in the winter! It would be great if I could fulfill that dream while also being able to perform at Carnegie Hall! I would love to do this competition!”

After officially deciding to participate in the competition, I prepared the required two pieces. I chose to play the first movement of Bruch Violin Concerto No. 2 in d minor, and Bach 

I submitted two videos of my violin playing to showcase my potential. A couple of weeks later, I received an email on Nov. 9, 2023 from the competition organizers:

“Congratulations on your outstanding achievement as the winner of the Grand Concours International Competition! You’ve been recommended and selected to perform at the prestigious Weill Recital Hall at Carnegie Hall. We cordially invite you to showcase your extraordinary skills and artistry at the prestigious Carnegie Hall on Sunday, January 7th, 2024.” 

I first read this letter when I was at school during passing period. I froze in the middle of the quad and had to re-read the email to make sure I was seeing correctly. 

My friends that I was walking with looked over my shoulder to read the email and immediately began to congratulate me. That was when I realized that it was real. 

After school, I told my mom about the news in the car. She was extremely proud of me and was excited for me to be able to perform in such a grand space. 

FROM MUSICAL JOURNEY TO EAST COAST JOURNEY 

I accepted the offer. However, my parents had to pay for airfare, food, and lodging, so we immediately began planning our trip. My older sister was in charge of researching various tourist sights to visit as well as restaurants in the related area. We were informed, however, that all of my family members will be given free admission to watch me perform.

Trying to book tickets to New York over winter break was not easy. Flights were extremely expensive, and not many were available. After much research, my dad purchased red-eye tickets for all of us for about $300 each.

Our stay at a hotel located in Times Square was expense-free because of the hotel travel points we had collected from having traveled often. The money that would have been used for the hotel ended up to pay for renting out small rooms for me to practice in and to pay the pianist who would join me on stage to perform my piece, which ended up being Wieniawski Polonaise No. 1 in D Major.

Before making the final decision to spend so much money on this venture for a five-minute performance on Jan. 7, a day before the first day of the spring semester, my mom expressed her concerns about missing my classes. That also caused me to debate whether I should take on this opportunity. 

I eventually concluded that she was just being the typical Asian Tiger mom who worried that missing one day of school would ruin my perfect attendance and therefore, my college application would look bad. As if college admissions officers care that much about students’ perfect or near perfect attendance.

When I told my private teacher of two years, Joan Kwuon, about this upcoming event, she was really excited that I had been offered to perform at Carnegie. 

“I want you to make the decision for yourself, but I really do think that it’s a great opportunity for you, and at this age, you want to build your music experience as much as possible.”

Multiple thoughts crossed my mind. Do I really want to give up my entire winter break practicing for the performance? I was really excited to finally finish the first semester of my sophomore year of high school, but to think that I would have to spend my break practicing all day makes me not want to do it. 

But it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I might never be given this opportunity again. I’ll do it…I just need to hope it’s worth all the effort.

Leading up to a performance, especially one as big as this one, I have observed that musicians like to go through a long process to make sure they are completely ready to perform without feeling anxious about making mistakes on stage. So I practiced for at least five hours every day in my bedroom, my living room and even my kitchen to avoid bothering my family with all the loud noise throughout the first week of winter break.

In addition to the long hours of practice, my teacher strongly encourages me to mentally prepare for the performance by performing in front of smaller audiences for more casual events. 

However, I skipped this step because about a month earlier in October, I had won the Los Angeles Youth Philharmonic Orchestra’s concerto competition and performed in front of a rather large audience as a soloist with the orchestra accompanying me at Thayer Hall at the Colburn School of Performing Arts. This allowed me to be more confident in myself and lessen the amount of nerves I felt when I walked onto the Carnegie Hall stage.

On the night of the performance in Carnegie Hall, we had a very short rehearsal. In total, there were about 30 performers and I was placed to perform 25th. 

Every musician took turns going on stage for about five minutes each to go over any parts they would like to rehearse with the piano. 

Unfortunately, my teacher couldn’t come because she had to continue her work back at home, so I worked with our paid piano accompanist, Andrew Park, to put together the performance. 

Park just so happened to my mom’s friend and has also performed in that very hall before. 

“Just relax and have fun on stage. Show off what you practiced up until now.”

Waiting backstage, I cleared all my nerves by talking with some of the other musicians – all of whom are teenagers – and eating lots of snacks.

My ultimate go-to ones right before I perform in front of a live audience are Airheads candy. It’s become a slight superstitious pattern for me so I felt quite relieved that my mom and I were able to buy some from a nearby convenience store the night before.

Surprisingly, the most nerve-wracking part of the whole performance ended up being when I walked on and off stage. 

I noticed my legs shaking and my palms sweating as I walked to and fro. But as soon as I started playing my piece, all of the nerves disappeared, and I fully immersed myself into the music.

Don’t think, just play. Stare at the wall, not at the violin. 

As soon as I played the last chord of my piece, I immediately felt a wave of relief wash over me as I sighed and took my violin off my left shoulder.

I focused my thoughts back to the situation, and I instantly heard the loud applause coming from the sea of people in the audience. I stared out at the crowd and almost immediately, I found my dad at the very front giving me a standing ovation, bringing others to their feet as well. 

At this moment, I experienced an epiphany.

My parents had a reason after all for pushing me this hard as a child. Because of their resilience and perseverance despite my complaining, I ended up in Carnegie Hall, performing in front of a  packed house. 

I bowed once, and because the audience kept applauding, the stage crew on the side of the stage motioned for me to take another bow. After doing so, I felt satisfied and relieved with how I was able to impress the audience.

And most importantly, I congratulated myself for making my family proud.

After the show, I met up with my family members. 

“I didn’t know that you were that good at the violin, Yena!” my older sister, Esther, exclaimed. I simply smiled and thanked her for her kind words, but on the inside, I was bursting with happiness because that statement instantly became the best compliment I had ever received in my life. 

VIOLINIST AS A PROFESSION?

Now that I have performed at one of the greatest concert halls in the United States, I want to aim to perform at concert venues in other countries, such as the Sydney Opera House in Australia. 

However, I do not have any plans of pursuing a music career. 

Music is one of the most important things in my life, and I fear that having to do it as a job in the future might take away the joy of playing and feel more like an obligation. 

Nevertheless, I do want to continue playing throughout college. My parents and I have discussed the possibility of double majoring with music as one of my two focuses or studying violin as a minor. In the long run, I view my violin playing as just a hobby that I can incorporate to relieve any stress. 

Performing at Carnegie Hall was truly a unique experience, and I believe that all the time, effort, and money that my family sacrificed made it worth it. 

When I came back to school, I explained to all my teachers why I was absent. My dance teacher, Leiana Volen, was particularly excited after hearing how I spent my winter break and asked if she could tell the principal about it.

Our principal Craig Weinreich was so impressed after hearing the news, that he decided to feature me on the digital newsletter and the school’s Instagram account. At first, I was unsure about the whole school being able to see me on the official school pages, but my friends who had seen the posts expressed how impressed they were and congratulated me on accomplishing such a unique and difficult feat.

Even though I’ve experienced my 10 minutes of fame, I am confident that I will have more of these in store. Perhaps Warhol’s theory needs some revising. 

“In the future, everybody can be famous for more than just 15 minutes.”